Britney’s Frank Rant

From the live feeds this evening, transcribed by Angel:

Britney to Danielle

“Way to go Frank, you’re right you are the best player in big brother history. Let’s see you took a chum bath for 21 hours, you got put into an effing carrot suit, you dyed yourself green, and you bench yourself for two HOH’s just to use the veto anyway. You are a mastermind. Why haven’t I just been listening to you this whole time you’re a freakin genuis.”

Danielle laughing

“You’re a freaking genius!”

Silence, Dan comes back outside

Dan “Sorry, it’s only 9:24 though”

Britney “The night is young”

Dan “It is”

Britney “Allow me to repeat what I just said.”

Dan “Whatever it was was funny because you were both smiling”

Britney “Yes Frank, you are the best player to ever play this game, you dyed yourself green, you put yourself in a carrot suit for a week, you benched yourself for the next HOH competition, and…what was his other one?”

Danielle “and he you had to do chum bath”

Britney “And you did Chum bath for 21 hours straight, just to use the veto anyway, (laughing) gosh dang it he is a genius, that’s the twist. If I had just followed his moves all season, I would have won! (leaning to Dan) It’s genius! (laughing and knee slapping) can’t play for 2 weeks. (laughing) and the veto was used. just so that this guy wouldn’t win the veto (points to Dan) Genius, Genius! Best player to ever play the game. Total genius. (Sips her large coffee) Ya Frank, I do have to go Thursday and you have to go next Thursday and I can not wait to see you. And I will cut your hair in your sleep, just cause I know thats the one thing you didn’t want. I will take my shears into your room at night, and I will cut every curly lock away from your face, and when you wake up it will be pasted to your chest. Pasted! And then I’m gunna take that kidney bean you were saving to sell on ebay and set it on fire. As if anyone is gonna buy, anyone wants to buy basically one of your hemorrhoids enlarged on ebay. I really wanna rake havic on this guys life, I’ll take his hemorroidal pads out of his bathroom and sneak ’em in my bag. Then what? Revenge. Revenge in the form of anus pain. (sits and thinks starts laughing) He benched himself for 2 HOH’s and the veto was used! (To Dan) He could have just let you win the veto, and then put me on the block, and played in the next HOH. It’s amazing. (Sips Coffee) Mastermind! Best player… Dan has an inflated ego Danielle, Dan thinks he’s too good at this game but he got you to bench yourself for two weeks and then save him. (Laughing and sighs) it’s amazing, it’s amazing! (Sips coffee) It’s amazing. It’s Amazing. Now your laying in the hammock in a carrot suit.(Laughs) For the veto to be used anyway. Genius. (whispers) Genius. He’s the best player to ever play this game you guys (whispers to Danielle) the best!”

Dan “We need to get Britney some wine tonight.”

Danielle “Ya we need to give you some wine.”

Britney “I know right. I’m being serious. Look at this fool getting out of the hammock (Frank begins to walk towards them)

Dan (Into mic) Lets expidite that beer and wine delivery please, ASAP, ASAP!”

Britney “And the veto was…he’s walking toward me in a carrot, and the veto was used anyway.”

Dan “When’s the last time we got a delivery? Sunday? No, Saturday?”

Danielle “No when I made her birthday cake Thursday”

Dan “yea”

Britney “We didn’t get it that day did we?”

Danielle “I think so”

Britney “This freaking guy, this freaking guy… thinks that he is so good at this game. He won’t even admit that he got misted it’s like he wants us to think that it was all part of his bigger plan to sit out the next 2 HOH’s. because you were coming after me Britney! Yea like everybody else in this house should be (inauduable) Name one person who’s not coming after you, Jenn the rottweiler ohhh she wins everything so that’s good news.”

Dan “Britney’s just getting started I have a feeling”

Danielle “mm hmm”

Britney “Name one person who’s not coming after you. Good one, good one Frank, you sit out those 2 HOH’s. I can’t wait to have facials with you in jury. We’ll watch Kill Bill together. I’ll save it, I know you like it, so I’ll save it. I’ll put that one farther back on the netflix list. You know what you can try Chipolte for the first time with me! Effin’ retar… I mean what an idiot… but what blows my mind is that he can’t just say I got duped, I got played. I can say that. I got played, I lost this game for a very good reason because Dan Gheesling who is one of the best players to ever play this game screwed me and that’s fine. That’s a legitimate reason, admirable to go, to leave the game, like with a big freaking twist and like total mess going on. Freakin lies, bibles are involved like freaking funerals are involved, like at least that’s an epic leave. This guy is leaving because it was his bigger plan. It’s amazing, it’s amazing. He thinks that he is the best player to have ever played this game. I will vote for shades to win this game before Frank. If I have to put his key in the box, I’ll snap it in half. I would freaking vote for that plant to win this game before Frank because you know what buddy, maybe you can win comps and save yourself, buy your smarts game is in the toliet. You can’t keep yourself off the block in this house to save your life, you freaking go up on the block for a reason, because your social game sucks and no one likes you. Get a clue. I win this game 7-0 vote if I make it to the final 2. Why because you can win competitions? Because you can dive into bowls of guacamole and pull stuff out, or… what has he even won? Oh because you can shimmy a ball up a wall faster than anybody else? Life skills.”

Dan (into his mic) “Can we please get this girl some wine, please, preferably white”

Britney “Woooo I shimmy a ball up a wall gimme half a million dollars. If you could have talked yourself off the block one week, maybe. There’s a reason you’re on the block every week Frank, everyone hates you and thinks you’re a giant D-bag. Good luck getting that half a mil buddy. Good luck, good luck. Over my dead body. I will sooner make a $500,000 donation to Mad Love Cooking, I will sooner buy Joe a fully stocked pantry with the finest teas from India, and spices from Saudi Arabia, a freakin imported cocoa beans straight off of the plains of wheverever they come from, Columbia, before I will reward someone who can shimmy a ball up a wall… or get a shamrock out of a ball pit. Ohhhh! I will reward the player who doesnt have to get a shamrock out of a ball pit. This game is about strategy. Cool strategy, sit out of HOH for 2 weeks just so that the veto will be used anyways, golden strategy.”

Joe comes and sits down.

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