Strategy Strep

It’s an illness, this thing called strategy. Some people come into the show free of any sign of infection, and others come in blazing with feverish hypotheses of how to win the game. The problem with that type of thinking is this: Big Brother is a game of psychological nature. It consists of a microcosm of a societal kaleidoscope, of human psyche, of motivation and morality (or lack of). So making plans ahead of the game is pretty much death. There’s always going to be a moment when Julie Chen says, “Are you sitting down?”

So, Keith came into the house thinking he was going to have a harem of beauties—Keith’s Angels—as he so eloquently stated. They would distract, distort, glean information, deflect criticism, give comfort, wipe perspiration, cuddle, ooh and awe all the way to the end. And he, not they, would be the winner. He made this plan before finding out six pro-players would be entering the house. He also did it without thinking that the females in the house might have their own plans to counter his own. And when things got bad, he got loud.

Porsche was this close to being voted out Thursday night, but she wasn’t and here’s why: she is still pliable to the ways of strategy. You want me to help you out? Okay. You want me to lie a little? Cool. I can do that. It’s early and the game is long. I want to be poolside in my bikini for a few more weeks and so I’m just going to ride the tide and collect a golden key. Ooh, it’s pretty too. I’m kissing it, I’m kissing the golden key. My, oh, my it sure looks nice around my quiet, cool and collected little neck. See ya, Keith.

Yes, don’t make assumptions in this game. And unless forced to by the Chen, don’t make alliances until a few weeks in. If you must, absolutely must, then ride out the loyalty the best you can, but still keep your mind open to other opportunities. Never claim citizenship in the Big Brother House, or you too will come down with Strategy Strep. It ain’t fun. The antidote is Chen kissing you with sparkly lip gloss asking, “So, where do you think it all went wrong?” And that stuff’s hard to get off.

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